Secrets
by Catvenger
Summary: Three hundred years is a long time. Jack Frost has picked up some.. habits. And he's not quite ready to stop.
1. Chapter 1

Jack Frost could still remember the first time he decided to punish himself.

At first it had been little things. He'd refuse to eat for a couple of days, maybe even a week. He usually sat down outside of a window and watched a family eat dinner until the gnawing in his stomach made the silence roaring in his ears dull into white noise.

And then those days turned to weeks. It wasn't enough to be uncomfortable anymore. Even though he wouldn't die without food the hunger twisted his stomach into knots so painful he couldn't stand. Eventually his whole world became hunger, and he gladly succumbed to it, embraced it. It was something else to think about.

This worked for about the first forty or something years before it wasn't enough. He was finally reduced to skating frantically on his lake, back and forth in erratic circles. Eventually, he made a game out of it. Throwing his head back and laughing he challenged Wind to the other side until the clearing echoed with the sounds of his feet skidding across the ice. He went faster and faster until his knees buckled and he was suddenly flying. But this time Wind had no part in it.

Jack had thought he knew what pain was; the throbbing in his chest that would drive him to his knees every time someone passed through him. But now he was writhing on the floor, clawing at his head. Eyes darting wildly he searched for something, anything to alleviate mind-numbing agony that gripped him. But he couldn't _see_ anything anymore and all he could hear was ringing in his ears and wasn't there anyone, anyone that could help?

Dimly, he realized Wind was there and blowing around him in a frenzy. He relaxed as he felt a breeze ruffle through his hair and stroke his cheek. Jack had no idea how long he laid there before he finally passed out.

When he awoke, he was treated to his first headache since he'd been born. But it wasn't crippling anymore, but he found himself too distracted to think.

Jack didn't think that was so bad: not thinking.

So he had something new now. Wind didn't like it one bit, and would always pull him away when it had the chance. But every once in a while, when he was tired of calling out to the Man in the Moon, he'd distract Wind into a game of chase and run straight into a tree.

After all, Jack Frost had done something wrong. Very wrong, to have deserved this. After watching a child getting caned by his father, Jack began to realize that maybe _he_ was the problem. Surely, he reasoned, he had done something terrible. After all, he wasn't blind. Jack could read the dread in people's eyes as winter approached. The fear. The only ones who welcomed him with open arms were children. But even they eventually trembled so badly they ran back inside. So he _deserved _this, he pleaded with Wind. But most of all, he_ needed _it.

Over time he became more creative. He forged thorny vines out of ice and wrapped himself into a cocoon until his whole torso was littered with holes. He told Wind it was a game: How long can Jack Frost stay awake? Gradually Wind resigned to catching him when he fell and waiting patiently for him to wake up.

He always made sure to peel off his sweater so it wouldn't get stained. Even though his exposed wounds always hurt more that way, Jack welcomed it. The longer the distraction, the better.

Eventually, he would heal. Then he would run back to the children in Burgess and play one of his favorite games of all: pretending they could see him. He would call them by name; leave piles of snowballs next to their favorite playing spots. And he always kept his lake ready for anyone who wanted to skate. Jack Frost would have his fun, even if he knew it wouldn't last. But he didn't have to worry about the dull throbbing in chest growing. Not anymore.

At least, he didn't used to. But Jack had never anticipated that one day he'd be believed in. He had never imagined a day where he technically wouldn't _need_ his punishments anymore. But there was one factor he really couldn't have prepared himself for:

The Guardians.

Jack Frost was no longer alone. And that was a problem.

Tell me what you think. Want more?


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Bunnyyyy."

"Go away, Jack."

"Bunnnyyyyyy."

"Go. Away. Now."

Jack pouted. "Aw, come on! You know you've missed me!" He insisted, kicking his feet lazily as he floated above Bunnymund.

Said bunny was crouched on the floor, a paintbrush and egg in hand. "I don't 'ave time for this, frostbite. Go botha someone else," He grunted.

"Easter isn't until another eight months," he whined. "It's too hot in Burgess to hang with Jamie, and the yetis kicked me out again!"

Bunnymund set down the brush and turned towards the winter spirit. "We're 'avin' a meetin' this aftanoon, anyways, so why don't just bugger off until then? There's gotta be someplace out there that needs snow!"

"Ooh, a meeting? What is it for this time, huh?" Jack leaned over Bunny's shoulder. "Hmm, that's a pretty egg, but I think it's missing something."

Jack grinned as he watched Bunnymund bristle. "Oh yeah? You think you can do betta?"

Jack quickly floated out of reach. "I dunno, can't be too hard to paint _an egg_."

"Ey, this is an _art_, mate. Unlike you, some of us hafta be talented to do what we do," Bunny growled.

Jack clutched his chest. "Bunny, you wound me! Who says I don't have talent? Dipping an egg in some paint's got nothing on what I do for a living!"

Bunnymund snorted. "I'm sure wreakin havoc everywhere ya go is real bloody artistic, frostbite. People _like _my eggs for a reason! They aren't bloody annoyin', for one thing."

Jack clenched his jaw. "Oh yeah? Well, no one likes Easter that much, anyways! It's a stupid holiday about a stupid kangaroo!"

Bunnymund's eyes narrowed. "At least I 'ave a holiday, mate. What do you got? A handful a kids?"

Jack stared at him for a moment, his mouth open. He could feel his hands shaking. He gripped his staff harder.

Swallowing, he looked away. "Pfft, yeah, whatever. At least I know how to have fun," he snorted.

As Jack quickly turned to fly off, Bunnymund called after him.

"Ey!"

Jack froze midair, but didn't face him. "Yeah?"

"Don't forget about today! Tooth'll throw a hissy fit if we ain't all there!"

"Yeah, yeah! Got it!" As Jack took off, he glanced behind him one last time. Bunnymund had gone back to painting.

"C'mon, Wind," he sighed, "let's go pay Antarctica a little visit."

-break-

Jack leaned his head back against the frozen wall. Bunnymund's words replayed in his mind over and over. He hugged his knees closer to him.

"He's right, you know? I always… I always hurt people, Wind," he winced as his voice cracked a little towards the end. A small breeze wrapped around his hand, which was slowly edging towards his shirt.

"Yeah, I know I have to see them today, but it's been so _long_," he murmured. He glanced around at the cave he always went to when Burgess was too warm. The floor around him was splattered with faint, red stains. Most of it had already seeped into the ice over the years. His chest squeezed tighter.

"Maybe..maybe just a little, you know? Like just my arm or something!" His sweater was already on the floor, now. His hands trembled in anticipation as he stared at his right hand.

Jack carefully brought his other hand over his wrist, slowly forming a crystallized rope. He brought it up all the way to his shoulder before stopping. "Alright, here comes the hard part." Closing his eyes he quickly clenched his fist.

"Gah!" he cried. Dozens of small spikes sprung up in various places along the rope, digging into his arm. He felt tears spring to his eyes, but simply bit his lip until the initial wave of pain passed.

After a moment, he unclenched his fist, and stared at his handiwork. Rivulets of blood had started dripping down his arm, some landing on his pants.

"Ah, dangit! I hope that's not noticeable," He grunted, dabbing at the stain with his other hand. Wind nudged him forward towards the opening of the cave.

"Oh.. yeah! I'm going to be late," he cried. Rushing over to a wall, he slammed his arm into it. The rope shattered instantly. Ignoring the new ache in his fist, Jack ran a light finger over his arm, freezing the lacerations and blood instantly.

"I wonder what today's meeting is about, anyways. C'mon, Wind! Race ya there," he called out, snatching up his sweater on the way out.

He felt Wind hesitate and wrap around his arm once more. Jack sighed, pulling it away. "They won't find out, Wind. I'll.. try not to do it anymore, okay? Promise."

Suddenly Jack was shoved to the side as Wind rushed out.

"Hey!" He laughed. "That's cheating!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Jack Frost has arrived!" Jack sang, bursting into the workshop from a window.

He laughed as the elves scattered into a panicked frenzy to escape his ice.

He turned at the sound of unintelligible yelling and found Phil fuming at all the snow tracked in. Smirking, Jack gave him a pat on the shoulder as he wandered in. "Good to see you, too, pal!"

His heart lightened at Phil's grumbling. "Aw, c'mon, Phil. You didn't miss me?"

Phil rolled his eyes. He ruffled Jack's hair before nudging him into the hallway.

Jack noted the direction they were going in. "Agh, Phil, no time for cookies today. Tooth sent the fairies to tell us to meet up today, and she'll throw a fit if I'm late again."

Phil nodded and they began walking down another hall. He stared at Jack expectantly.

"Oh, things have been fine… You know bringing snow and fun to the children of the world. Same old, same old," Jack laughed nervously. He rubbed the back of his head before cringing at the twinge of pain shooting down his arm. He cracked his neck in the hopes of masking it.

They stopped outside of Phil narrowed his eyes. Before he could speak, Jack interrupted him. "Look, everything… everything is fine, okay? Please, Phil. Not while the guardians are here. They can't know. They don't _need_ to know." He stared up at the yeti, his eyes pleading.

"Don need ta know what?" Jack's heart almost stopped at the sound of a familiar Australian accent.

The door was wide open now, and Bunny stood on the other side of it. His foot was tapping impatiently.

Shooting Phil one last meaningful, Jack quickly flew into the room. Floating on his back he yawned. "Oh, nothing. Just super secret creatures of the winter information. It's on a need to know basis. It's not anything that pertains to _spring_." He cracked an eye open to see Bunny's reaction.

Bunny's fur was _already _bristling. "Is that so? Must not be very important then, mate." Jack could feel Bunny's smirk from across the room.

"Now, now. Is no time for fighting!" North bellowed, bursting through the door. Tooth and Sandman followed shortly.

"Jack! How are things being for you?" North rumbled, opening his arms to bring Jack into a hug.

Jack quickly dodged and patted the large man on the back. "Hey, North!"

"It's been a while, hasn't it, Jack," Tooth chimed in excitedly, her hands already in his mouth.

"Hath it? I hafn't notithed," Jack replied, gently pushing Tooth away. Normally, he didn't mind the attention. But today wasn't a good day for any physical contact.

Sand rustled behind him and Jack grinned. Watching the carefully formed shapes above Sandy's head, he looked away. "Yeah, I know, Sandy. I haven't been visiting much. I've been pretty busy." Guilt gnawed at his insides.

"Huh. No worries here, mate. Been appreciatin' the silence as o' late. Who's the poor sucka that's been stuck with ya?" Bunny snorted.

Jack felt his ears heating up. "I haven't been with _anyone_, Kangaroo. Being the spirit of winter isn't always fun and games ," he snapped.

"Jack… are you okay?" Tooth asked gently, reaching out for him. Everyone was staring at him, taken aback. Even Bunny was eyeing him wearily.

He clenched his fists tightly, welcoming the stabs of pain that erupted from his arms. His heart stopped pounding in his chest. Taking a deep breath he managed a smile. "Ah, sorry guys, 'm just a little tired today. The ice caps were giving me a little trouble is all. You know, with global warming and everything."

"Global warming? Bah! I live here for centuries and I never even see _ice cube _melt! Is bunch of garbage!" North announced.

"Well I think Jack would know, North," Tooth reminded him gently, a smile playing on her lips.

Jack resisted sighing in relief. Everyone seemed convinced he was fine with the exception of Sandy, who watched him carefully. Which wasn't a problem, really. Jack was determined to put him at ease, too. Heck, he'd make a game out of it! By the end of the day Sandy would be 100% sure that Jack was a-okay.

After all, Jack loved games.

Sorry for the short chapter, you guys. I know it's been a while and I really appreciate your feedback! Just wanted to put this up so you would know I was alive :)


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